My church started a new series his week called "The Good Life" and it really hit home for me in so many ways. Ever since I was in high school I have been planning my life out. Everything from who I was going to marry, to what I would do with my life, to how many kids I would have, I have been planning since I was 16. 10 years later and I find myself still trying to plan out my life. When I was in high school I always thought...my life will be fulfilled once I find my future husband. Then I met Chris and we got married (and my life changed for the better) but my thoughts changed to....my life will be fulfilled once I have my dream job of being an actress. And now my thoughts are...my life will be fulfilled once I have a career I love and start having kids. But today it really hit me...I have been so busy planning out how to live my life and what to do in my life that I really havent lived in the "now" of my life. Having a husband, or career that I love or kids are not ever going to completely fufill my life. The only thing that can completely fill my life with joy and happiness is my relationship with God. That might sound cliche but it is completely true. When I was a kid I didnt think about the future, I took joy in the little things in life. As I got older and more "real life" responsibilities came my way, the little things didnt seem so important. I am realizing now just how important they are. Once I got into high school I was always being taught to prepare for your future, and I have always been afraid of making the wrong decisions that will effect my future. I have spent so much time being afraid to make wrong decisions, or beating myself up about bad decisions that most of the time I just waste time and lose out on every day opportunities. But that ends today. I am honestly exhausted with always trying to make the right decisions regarding the direction of my life. God knows that I am not perfect...and thats what is amazing about having a relationship with him...I dont HAVE to be perfect. Whenever I fail, He is there to pick me back up and put the pieces together. I'm not sure why this is hitting me so hard today...this is something I have always known...but it clicked in a very real way today. I feel a huge weight lifted off my chest and just feel so much more freedom to live my life. Living "the good life" just means living a life for God. Allowing Him to guide me and not wasting the life He gave me. Feeling how loved I am by Him, and spreading that love to everyone I meet. I have already been blessed with an amazing husband to share my life with and thats more than I can even ask for! I would still like to have a career that I love and have many kids...but I have come to realize that even if those things dont happen for me, I still have a fulfilled life because I have Jesus in it. He died so that I could live, and I will not take that for granted any longer.
This is going to be such a challenge for me to truly let go and just live. I am going to have to work on this daily, but I know in the long run my life will be way more enjoyable because of it. So right now I just want to say a few of the "little things" that I am thankful for in my day today.
-It was a beautiful day and I didnt have to work!
-free coffee at Crossroads (always makes my Sundays amazing)
-I finally got to spend Fathers Day with my dad...even though its a week late
-I got to spend the day with my nieces who I just adore to pieces
-My whole family just got to relax and spend time together with lots of laughs and absolutely no arguing (Thats a big deal...when you get a bunch of control freaks in one place!)
-I made my dad cry while reading his fathers day card (yes I know thats weird to be thankful for that but thats always my goal when I write cards!)
-I had an excuse to watch/listen to the Justin Bieber movie again b/c one of my nieces spent the night.
-I have the hottest guy in the world sitting next to me on the couch right now.
That being said, if anyone wants to hear the series that my church is doing on this subject feel free to check it out on their website at crossroads.net or even come check it out some weekend. Its pretty much the best place on this entire earth...filled with normal people...no one is gonna beat you with a bible or anything haha!
Thanks for checking out my blog!
Brittany :)
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