Famous last words. Before I moved to LA people would ask me "so how long do you plan on staying there?" and my answer would always be that I planned on being there forever...and that if I ever did move away from LA it would NEVER be back to Cincinnati. I guess you should never say never...b/c as most of you know after 5 months of living in LA we will be once again be living in Cincinnati. I know this came as a shock to most people...and to be honest it came as a shock to me as well. I guess the saying "you dont know what you have until its gone" is very true. I have lived in Cincinnati my whole life and never really appreciated it because it was the only thing I have ever known. I have been trying to move to LA for such a long time and once I was here all I could think about was the people I left behind in Cincinnati. I have had a lot of people tell me oh you should give it more time you are just homesick. But the truth is its not that I am homesick its deeper than that. I did not really realize that I was giving anything up moving away. In my perfect world I thought I would be going home to visit every other month. And those months I was not able to go home then people would here visiting me. But the truth is that is just not realistic and I guess I didnt think about that. I can not stand not being close to my parents. My parents are my best friends and I love spending time with them. And knowing that our relationship was now over the phone really sucked. I didnt want to give up the special relationship that we have. I sat here in LA watching every one of my family and friends lives go on with out me. And its not that they dont love me or that they didnt care that I was gone its just that that is what happens...everyones life goes on. And I felt at that point I had to choose between two lives. Either be in LA and pursue my dream of acting, or live an everyday life with the people that I love the most. I felt I had to choose between acting or my family. And I dont care if I even made it big out here and had all the money in the world, I would still choose my family over acting. My family means the world to me and I guess I just didnt realize how good I had it in life until it was gone.
Now that being said, these past few months I have learned so much about myself, my relationship with Chris and just life in general. I think Chris and I will look back on this time in our lives and cherish it forever b/c it truly has been a great experience overall. We have met some really awesome people, and we have grown closer in our marriage having each other to lean on through some hard times. But here are the biggest things I have learned in these past 5 months:
1. I have the most amazing husband in the world
Chris picked up his entire life and drove with me 3000 miles so that I could pursue my dream. He did this without complaining once or trying to get me to change my mind. He left all of his family and friends to support me. I feel really bad about this now. I honestly thought he wanted to live in California and I found out after we moved that he never wanted to he was just supporting me. And he never even said this until I told him I wanted to move back to Cincinnati. That is love. He gave up everything because he loves me and wants me to be happy. I am honestly speechless about this. All I know is,he is the most amazing person I have ever met and I feel so lucky to call him mine. And I will work as hard as I can to be the wife he deserves and make him the happiest he can be. This whole experience has made us closer than ever and for that alone I will be forever thankful.
2. I am still very passionate about acting and I always will be. But I am now okay with it not being my career. 
Giving up a career in acting has been the most difficult thing about this decision. To be honest it still hurts a lot. Being here in LA taking classes with an AMAZING acting coach I have learned soooo much. I am now 10 times a better actor than when I came here. I have so much more confidence in my acting now and truly believe I could have a career in acting. I have had more opportunities here in the past few months with top producers and agencies than most people have the entire time they are here. And its b/c this is a business...and you have to know the right people to move forward in this business. But when it came right down to it, I almost didnt even want something to happen or even meet with this people in fear that I would have to stay in California. B/c like I said before I would choose my family over acting anytime. In order to make a career in acting here you have to be willing to give up everything for it. And I realized that I am not willing to give up certain things. And that is hard for me to admit, but there are things I want more in life than an acting career. So like I said before this decision still hurts A LOT. But I have comfort and peace knowing that I am making the right decision. I can still do acting in Cincinnati whether it be plays or commericals or short films. My love for acting is still there, but this way I can have it all....my family, friends and acting.
3. California is an amazing place....to visit.
I still think California is one of the most beautiful and unique places. And from the first time I came here when I was 16 I said I was going to live here one day. But I have come to realize that you appreciate the things here more when you dont live here. LA is a very diverse place full of different culture. And I forever will be changed by living here. I no longer am stuck in the Cincinnati bubble that I was before. I can appreciate the fact that people live life differently than what I am used to in Cincinnati. To be honest I still think this place is way cooler than Cincinnati (and by cooler I am not talking about the weather haha 80 degress in winter is awesome to me.) but this place is just not home and will never be home to me. However, I will definitely be back to visit for sure! Oh and by the way I have learned that the worst place in the entire world is the California DMV...id rather go to jail for the day than be stuck there. It truly is my hell on earth lol.4. I love Cincinnati
My nieces mean the world to me. Not only have I not been there to just watch them grow up. But I missed out on important things in their lives. This was Kali's first year of competitive cheerleading and I missed EVERY competition she had. I was soo mad at myself for not being there...being a cheerleading coach myself and teaching her cheerleading from the time she was really little I felt I should have been there...and I wasnt. Not only was I not there but I could hear the disappointment in her voice when I told her I was going to miss every one of her competitions. I didnt get to be there for Addie's dance recital either. She is growing up so quickly and I am missing out on it. She is at a perfect age now where she has developed such a cute personality and I want to be there as she grows up! I missed both of my nieces birthdays this year, as well as Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years. All times I could have been with family and instead I was far away wasting time doing nothing. And another important event I missed was my best friends wedding shower and the birth of her beautiful baby Noah. Erin and I have been best friends since high school and she is the closest thing I have to a sister. I was beyond disappointed knowing I couldnt be there for most of her pregnancy and shower. So I can tell you this much...I wont be missing out on anything else!!
LA has a lot of great places to eat...but there really is no place like Skyline Chili! Which is just one thing I love in Cincinnati. I love that Cincinnati has a small town feeling to it. Even though in reality its really not that small. But I know my way around that entire city, and the towns surrounding it like I know the back of my hand. I actually think Cincinnati is a really beautiful place to live and there is so much history there that makes it unique. I love going to Reds games and cant wait to have a family and take my kids there b/c I have so many memories of going to games from the time I was a child until now. I love that you get so much more for your money in Cincinnati. Chris and I always watch shows on tv about houses and for the housing market Cincinnati is one of the cheapest places to live. We could have two really nice houses in Cincinnati for what we are paying for our 1bedroom apt here in LA. That is just crazy to me! And I never thought I woudl say this but I actually miss the season changes in Cincinnati. Spring is so pretty there and I love the hot and humid Summers, and there is just nothing like fall in Cincinnati. I still hate winter but I have to admit when I came back to visit I thought the snow was so beautiful!
5. Its not okay for me to miss out on special events
My nieces mean the world to me. Not only have I not been there to just watch them grow up. But I missed out on important things in their lives. This was Kali's first year of competitive cheerleading and I missed EVERY competition she had. I was soo mad at myself for not being there...being a cheerleading coach myself and teaching her cheerleading from the time she was really little I felt I should have been there...and I wasnt. Not only was I not there but I could hear the disappointment in her voice when I told her I was going to miss every one of her competitions. I didnt get to be there for Addie's dance recital either. She is growing up so quickly and I am missing out on it. She is at a perfect age now where she has developed such a cute personality and I want to be there as she grows up! I missed both of my nieces birthdays this year, as well as Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years. All times I could have been with family and instead I was far away wasting time doing nothing. And another important event I missed was my best friends wedding shower and the birth of her beautiful baby Noah. Erin and I have been best friends since high school and she is the closest thing I have to a sister. I was beyond disappointed knowing I couldnt be there for most of her pregnancy and shower. So I can tell you this much...I wont be missing out on anything else!!6. There are things I want in life that I didnt realize I wanted right now.
This is a picture of me and Erin's baby Noah, who is the cutest little boy baby I have ever seen in my life! I have probably had baby fever from the time I was in high school and you think about your future husband and all the little babies you will have together. I had actually written out my life "itenerary" when I was in high school of when I was getting married and when I was going to have kids and all that. Luckily nothing worked out as I had planned b/c I think I would have already had 3 kids by now...and that would have been just crazy I am only 25! As soon as Chris and I got married we of course got asked the question "So when are you going to have a baby?" And my response was wow not for a looooong time I am moving to LA to pursue acting so thats not really a good idea right now. But I guess you could say I have been "in the closet" with my baby fever for a long time. My whole life I have wanted to be a Mom. I tend to be pretty motherly in general situations and I just feel like I have that instinct. Maybe its from being around my nieces, I really dont know. But as soon as Chris and I realized we were moving back to Cincinnati my baby fever went CRAZY. (As you probably know from my facebook posts haha). So at least now I know a baby is in our near future and I am excited for that time in our lives whenever that may be. And on a sidenote I think Chris is going to be such an amazing Dad and I can not wait to see what our babies look like! Dont you think he looks like a natural?!
7. I now know what I want to do with my life
When I first graduated from high school I knew I would go to college and become a teacher. That just made the most sense to me and I thought it was really what I wanted to do. But to my surprise when I went to college and started taking some of my teaching classes I HATED it. And then I was so confused like what the heck am I gonna do now? So I switched my major a few times and then decided I was going to pursue acting. Then I chickened out on moving to LA so I decided to go back to school...for teaching. And I still hated it lol. I am the type of person where If I dont want to do something I just wont do it...so teaching was not going to work for me b/c I didnt want to do it. Thats when I came back to acting...b/c its what I wanted. But my biggest passion in life has always been "helping people." I feel like its always such a stupid answer when people would ask me what I want to do...but that is really it I just want to help people. And I always said if I ever made it big in acting I would want to start my own center for girls with body image and self esteem issues. That was always had such a special place in my heart. You can read all about my views on that in one of my earlier posts on here. But anyways that is what I have decided to do. I am going to finish my Bachelors degree which will be a Bachelor of Science in Substance Abuse Counseling. And then I will get my Masters degree in Mental Health Counseling. Its like all of a sudden my life is making sense. I dont have to wait to see if I make it big to help people...I can do it now. No more waiting for "the future" b/c as I keep waiting for the future to happen life is passing me by. So I am very excited to start my career in this!! And I feel like this is the perfect time to start this type of career b/c now I have lived a little and learned about life. And I dont think you can really counsel anyone until you have lived and learned. I mean who wants some kid straight out of college who knows nothing about life counseling you? I personally dont. I also know now that being a cheerleading coach meant more to me than I realized. I love being around these girls and they have such a special place in my heart. They were constantly on my heart as I left them and I felt very much like I should be there with them. I do hope to be making a positive impact on their life and if nothing else just to be a positive role model and friend to them. I love each of them like my little sisters and I am excited to be coaching again next year!
Well I hope that clears up why we are moving back to Cincinnati. I figured I would just write a post about since I literally get asked why we are moving back every day. It takes too long to really explain why so now I'll just say GO READ MY BLOG. haha :) Chris and I are so happy to have such amazing friends and family and just people in general who love and support us. We cant wait to get back to Cincinnati and finally get settled in somewhere. We plan on hopefully being able to buy a house by June and I can not wait for that! In the past year and a half we have been married we have moved 4 times. I am ready to be settled in somewhere for sure! We can not wait to start going back to Crossroads and just continuing to deepen in our relationship with God and just continue to grow every day in our marriage. Thank you to everyone for your support we love you all :)
ps. I only have like a week and a half left living here in LA and I still have yet to see Ben Affleck. I am very disappointed about this so I will probably be looking for him the rest of the time I am here. If you know where he is let me know! ;) hahaha I sound like such a stalker...
Love,
Brittany
